Today, too, I woke up at almost 3pm. Then I spent some time learning WordPress. I wanted to get that done as quickly as possible because I want to create my own owned media as soon as possible. I did that for about 2 hours and then decided to walk to a different place for the first time in a while.
![お昼ごはんにはパスタを作る](https://etoile-de-kota.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/IMG_8287-231x308.jpeg)
Make pasta for lunch
Today I’m taking a walk to a faraway place for the first time in a long time
Crossing the bridge to near old Tbilisi. A couple walking happily at night. A couple kissing. I smile, thinking how nice it is. I’m thinking that love is wonderful, and it’s time to start missing it. But at the same time, it’s a dangerous thing that can get you stuck in the mire.
With these thoughts in my mind, I kept walking. It was very cold today, so I was wearing a Burberry trench coat, and I felt many people staring at me. I don’t know why.
![かわいいフラワーショップ](https://etoile-de-kota.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/IMG_8299-411x308.jpeg)
Cute flower store
I was wearing my SHURE AONIC5s and listening to Taylor’s Anti-Hero, so I said sorry to the ladies. I often think that the idea that just because you are a rich person, you would give money to the poor is ridiculous. They are well educated about money and know the importance of money, so they should spend their money carefully and judiciously. So I think their way of thinking is not right.
I am not rich at all, but I still think that they should use their brains and earn money before asking for money. I thought, “I think you should do something to create something rather than just sitting around and standing still”. That’s what I thought.
Freedom Square has a Christmas market
In Freedom Square, there was a Christmas market, a bazaar-like market outside that sold glintwain, various goods, Georgia leather goods, souvenirs, and accessories, and the lights caught my eye. I had to go there. I had no choice but to go there, so I did. It was really bustling, and there were many stores lined up in a row.
I’m really shy, so I couldn’t do that because I thought that if I tried to stop, they would definitely talk to me, so I watched them while moving little by little. I also thought that when I wear a Burberry trench coat, people tend to ask me to buy it before explaining the product, and I feel like they have an ulterior motive for wanting me to buy it.
Still, it was really beautiful. There were many families and lovers. I thought it was nice. And since this is the main town in Tbilisi, there were a lot of people there. There were very few people walking alone, and all the young people were in groups, or with friends or lovers, and I really envied them. I was so envious of all the young people walking with groups, with friends, or with lovers. I was so sick that I wondered if it was my fault that I couldn’t make friends so far (of course it wasn’t).
Because you can’t make friends, you can look at yourself and find challenges
I think we just don’t have luck. Luck is something you create. So I blamed myself, saying it was just because I didn’t act. I just asked people around here and there, “Will you be my friend?” If you do that 100 times, you will make at least 3 friends. I don’t have that kind of mentality, that’s why I can’t make friends. That’s it. Solution. First, how do you develop that mentality? I think the only way is to try.
At first I’m really nervous and I don’t know how to do it, but I just have to try. That may be the big challenge for me right now. I want to make at least three friends in each of the countries I visit. I want to have at least some friends to meet when I come back to Georgia. It doesn’t matter if it’s ONS or FWB.
But still, I really felt that I need people. Maybe it’s because I am a lonely person, but I really don’t want to go to a restaurant or go somewhere alone without people. I don’t know why. Perhaps I want to preserve my emotions.
For example, if you ride the Ferris wheel with a friend, you will never forget the feelings you had at that moment. You will have much more memories than when you are alone, and at the same time, you will get to know that person. It will be an unforgettable memory, and the fact that you rode the Ferris wheel with that person will be something that will never be erased. Maybe that is why I want someone.
It would be really nice to have someone with whom I can share my feelings, or a friend with whom I can share a glass of wine. Even though I have come all the way to Tbilisi, I haven’t been able to go to a wine restaurant or a proper restaurant yet because I have been sick for two weeks. And I haven’t made any friends. There are so many places I still want to go, but I don’t know why. I feel very lonely as a person. So I hope to make friends soon.
Take a walk and find a live performance on the street
There was also a place where the outside looked like French architecture, and I went there because they were having a street performance there.
Nearby, there is an ice cream shop that Estere and I went to, so we bought ice cream chocolates there. It was so delicious. And it was only 150 yen, so I thought it was very inexpensive.
With that, I went to a street live concert. They were playing ACDC, which I love, Misirlou, etc., Georgian music, Russian and Ukrainian music. I was there for about 30 minutes. I was enjoying myself the whole time, my feet stomping at the tempo. Music is the only thing that can really erase my shyness and make me truly concentrate and enjoy myself, no matter what.
At a club the other night, I was dancing to the rhythm of the music. I don’t usually do that, but with music, I can go that far, so I feel like it’s the music that makes me do it. At home, I often dance while listening to music, and outside, just stamping my feet and picking up the tempo at street live shows was a lot of fun. Since I have been sick for the past few weeks, I have only been walking around my house, so going to different places like this is a great way to discover new things and see things I haven’t seen before.
There is a restaurant area that has some delicious looking Khinkalis, but I haven’t had the courage to go in there yet, so I made that my next goal, to go into restaurants all over the place and get used to eating alone. That’s what I thought. That’s a big challenge too. Achievement is when I am no longer afraid to go into restaurants alone. That is an accomplishment. So, the first step is to go into a restaurant alone. Then, I will talk to people and make friends. I’m sure you can do it. I can do it.